Tag: College of United Monsters

Nuttin’ But Trouble

Nuttin' But Trouble

College of United Monsters #4

C.B. Archer

What happens when you’re a prankster for hire who exchanges jobs for cat themed rewards without ever questioning why you’re doing those jobs in the first place? Troubling stuff. Troubling stuff happens. Look, it isn’t a sex pun this time— but we took care of that with the actual title this time.

The once elite College of United Monsters (C.U.M.) is not only having financial troubles but is now suffering from missing student problems. In order to stay afloat, it has been forced to allow humans to register; but the problem is that they keep vanishing mysteriously. Humans, in a monster school? Well, not for much longer if this keeps up! Also, humans are getting kidnapped and that was probably a bigger danger to the school than needing to tighten up the budget.

Porter Giese was once a ridiculous human, before he died in a tragic Pilates accident. Now he roams the halls of the school as the ultimate get-things-done-ghost. Whose obsession with cats borders on Lycanthropy. Being invisible, it turns out, is quite a boon to an intrepid prankster. Another boon would be questioning the motives of your employers, but Porter still is sorely lacking in that department. But, honestly—with a name like Porter Giese were you really expecting someone that doesn’t accidentally sell out everyone they know for an all-knowing cat of pure malice? Okay, you probably were not expecting that one this time, but good on you for at least pretending you did for a minute there.

It serves you right for thinking that having a punny name and attending monster college was the only joke going around in this series.

Nuttin' But Trouble is a 17,000-word novella.

Purchase your copy now:

Gorgon in 69 Seconds

Gorgon in 69 Seconds

College of United Monsters #3

C.B. Archer

What happens when you enroll in a monster college and finally meet your bitter rival face to face? Riding stuff. Riding stuff happens.

The once elite College of United Monsters (C.U.M.) is still having financial troubles. In order to stay afloat, it has been forced to allow humans to register. Humans, in a monster school? Preposterous! Also, monsters are real and that was probably a bigger shock to the world than one school of them allowing humans to enroll.

Nape MacGuffin is a regular, ridiculous human. A student in the suddenly popular Historical Pottery Studies course, Nape finds himself facing off against his class’s biggest rivals: the students of Automobile Theory & Repair, who are convinced the pottery class is out to destroy them. Naturally, they have to get to the pottery students first. But, honestly—with a name like MacGuffin, you know the entire reason he’s in this story is to get kidnapped later on to serve as a plot device. You did know that…right?

It serves him right for having a punny name and attending monster college.

Gorgon in 69 Seconds is a 17,000-word novella.

Gorgon in 69 Seconds releases on Tuesday April 16, 2019!

Pre-order your ebook copy now:

Centaur of Attention

Centaur of Attention

College of United Monsters #2

C.B. Archer

What happens when you enroll in a monster college and have a crush on the handsomest centaur jock in the school? Mounting stuff. Mounting stuff happens.

The once elitist College of United Monsters (C.U.M.) is still falling on hard times. In order to stay afloat it had been forced to allow humans to register. Humans, in a monster school? Preposterous! Also, monsters were discovered to exist and that is still a bigger shock to the world than one monster school allowing humans to enroll.

Hugh Min is not a regular ridiculous human. Instead, he is a human that was adopted as a young child by a family of yeti. Hugh has more problems than the average student—an insatiable level of emotional angst, an insatiable appetite for snack foods, and an insatiable…whole lot of other problems. Will Hugh be able to successfully bridge two impassible college gaps, one between the sporty jocks and the geeky geeks, and the other against monsters and humans? Only by gaining access to the most sacred of all places—a centaur’s closet—will this question be answered.

Honestly, it serves him right for having a crush on an easily punned monster type and attending monster college.

Centaur of Attention is a 14,000-word novella.

Purchase your ebook copy now:

Desires of the Deep

Desires of the Deep

College of United Monsters #1

C.B. Archer

What happens when you enroll in a monster college and end up stuck in underwater classes? Butt stuff. Butt stuff happens.

The once elitist College of United Monsters (C.U.M.) has recently fallen on hard times. In order to stay afloat it has been forced to allow humans to register. Humans, in a monster school? Ridiculous! Also, monsters are real and that was probably a bigger shock to the world than one school of them allowing humans to enroll.

Cliff Waters is a ridiculous human. Mistakenly assigned to the Underwater Wing of the college, Cliff has more problems than the average student—sudden surges in popularity, sudden urges in the sexy monster student body, and being forced to hold his breath for hours at a time to attend class. Will Cliff be able to survive in the Underwater Wing of the toughest college around where everyone wants to taste a sweet piece of him?

Honestly, it serves him right for having a punny name…and attending monster college.

Desires of the Deep is an 11,500-word novella.

Purchase your copy now: